Love Languages at Christmas


Are you all set for Christmas? One of the funnest things about the season is, I think, picking out gifts for people. And this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about the different kinds of gifts we give. Ready to get creative? Here we go…


I first became aware of Gary Chapman’s Love Languages as a teenager and being mindful of how people communicate love with each other has been a great tool to use in relationships – romantic, friendly, or professional! In fact, some organisations have begun to ask their employees to take a Love Languages test when they are hired so that other staff know how to make them feel appreciated. Bottom line: it is a healthy thing to think about how we’re communicating our love for the people around us. (Find out what yours is by taking this quick test!)


Three things to remember when talking about love languages:

  1. They don’t give the full picture and it’s never helpful to put people in boxes. Love languages can also change over time.
  2.  They are not only useful for romantic relationships – as I mentioned before, they’re useful work relationships, family relationships and friendships, too. For example, there isn’t much point in me buying a volunteer an expensive gift when what would mean the most is a verbal affirmation of how well he did.
  3. Finally, we can speak (that is, express love through) one language but hear it through another. So just because your sister is a natural hugger doesn’t actually mean physical touch is what will make her feel most loved. People will also tend to prefer a couple of languages rather than just one…and let’s face it, even if my language isn’t acts of service, I’ll appreciate you doing the dishes!

(I wrote about Chapman’s love languages when I was doing lots of pre-marriage reading. You can read a full review here.)

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Today though, I’ve enlisted the help of some friends to suggest different ways of speaking each language that will be helpful in planning your Christmas giving this year!


Write up a storm in their Christmas card: tell them what you love about them or share your favourite memory with them.

Acknowledge something they’ve done: a great meal, a finished project at work, a kind gesture.

Initiate a good conversation that will make them feel important: ask them questions about their work, their hobbies, their plans – and listen.


Help practically without needing to be asked – chop the vegetables, set the table, wrap presents, do the washing.

Go out of your way to meet someone’s needs. That 5AM airport run could mean more than an Apple Watch!

Surprise someone by doing something they mightn’t prioritise for themselves. Give their car a five star clean-up or organise their cutlery drawer.


“It’s the thought that counts” is the major player here. Think about who they are, what they like, their current lifestyle and get them something to complement that.

Buy them something ethical. Check out my Ethical Christmas Gift Guide for some fab ideas or buy one of the handmade pairs of earrings I picked up in India this summer here!

Make their gift extra special by making it yourself! Here are my DIY tutorials for Sugar Scrub and Christmas cards!


If you’re aware of someone feeling uncomfortable, put your hand on their back to give them instant reassurance.

A good hug goes a long way.

Mistletoe. Duh.


Plan time with the person involving one of their favourite activities: ice-skating, a Christmas movie, a hot chocolate date.

Let them know in advance so they have something to look forward to.

Christmas is busy and sometimes people need a wee break – whisk them away for a drive or McDonald’s drive-through for a chance to get away from the madness (especially good for introverts!)


What is your love language? What about those around you? Can you think of other examples of how to speak the 5 love languages this Christmas? Take the test and join the conversation! Find me on Facebook or Twitter.



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