I’ve been spending a lot of time on the floor recently. My little one is learning to crawl and climb, so I alternate between being his climbing frame and his safety net when his balance lets him down (which, at 9 months, is a lot - and it's the funniest thing. Sorry, son...) 🙈 This shift in perspective has got me thinking about the stories we tell ourselves. Baby B and I can be looking at the same thing, but our views are different - and sometimes, in life, I think we can choose between views, or stories, when it comes to what's in front of us. (Before I say anymore, there are situations that are just horrible whatever way we look at them, and this is not what I'm talking about here.) I think back to this time last year when I was pregnant - it was such a special, sacred time, but one that was also filled with uncertainty and complication. In it, I often found myself at a crossroads: what story would I tell myself about what was happening? My physical difficulties (tachycardia and hypertension throughout my second and third trimesters) led me to feel like my body was letting me down. I felt I couldn't trust it. And I felt that I was already letting my unborn baby down by not being able to carry on as 'normal'. These were natural ways to feel about a difficult situation, and it was important to acknowledge that.
But then I realised that the way in which I was viewing what was happening wasn't the only way to see it. I learned that I could choose to tell myself a different story: that my physical complications were a result of my body working extra hard to keep my baby healthy, that it knew what it was doing. And that I wasn't letting my baby down, but in slowing down and stripping life back a little, I was doing what was best for him.
This decision to choose a different story, which was a daily, sometimes hourly choice, led me to a more peaceful and hopeful stance - one which I benefit from still. I still have to trust my body as it nourishes my son and continues to heal from surgery. I still have to make decisions that prioritise presence and family and health. I'm glad this is my story now.
Continued in comments 👇
Thank you Gemma, for doing what you do. Thank you for not streamlining men. Well written, wish I’d known to listen in this morning. I know you’ll say I’ve nothing to apologise for, but still, I wanna try to apologise on behalf of the lads who buy these mags and the lads trolling you this morning. Many blessings.