Life After Porn

Servaas has contributed several pieces to this series. His last looked at the reality of pornography faced by its ‘stars’, or performers. Tonight we look at the other side of the coin – what, if it exists, is life after porn like? As you read, consider also life after porn for consumers…and, to a wider extent, life after porn for today’s porn culture. What would that look like?

What we have realised throughout this series, is that there couldn’t be many more misleading terms in the world than porn star. Donnie Pauling, former adult film producer, told of how girls are drawn to the industry by the promise of glitz, glamour and easy money before they go numb and fade away like shooting stars.

Even though the adult film industry is a horrible and dangerous environment which becomes like a prison to those who desperately want to get out, we did read stories of actors who did eventually took a leap of faith and walked away. A leap of faith, seeing that the free life on the outside is an uncertain one while the life of abuse, addiction, self-mutilation, -hatred and slavery on the inside did have a sense of certainty to it. Even though a comfort zone is not necessarily comfortable, we so easily get stuck there still.

Is there life after porn? Do these former actors find it easy to re-enter broader society and every day life? Will society ever truly again accept them as one of their own? Sy Rogers, who lived a life of sexual immorality and now councils others who want to leave such a life behind, puts it something like this: “If you jump of a cliff and half way down feel really and truly sorry about what you just did and completely change your outlook on life, reality is that you still need to face the effect of gravity”. Although these actors find the courage and means to leave the industry, their initial decision to join it and also their time spent there still has consequences they have to face thereafter.

Nadia Styles‘ of whom we also read in Inside the Porn Industry were one of those who got to the place where she was willing and able to leave the mess she got into and did so successfully. Her story, in particular, was the one that really spoke to me personally in the sense that for the first time I thoroughly and truly understood what the porn industry is all about, and for me to actively oppose it was now non-negotiable. She had friends reaching out to her, providing her with ‘holiday’ accommodation and some time off and out of the country during which they encouraged her and gave her some time to clear her head and start the healing process. She tells of how she reconnected with God during this time and found again that she has a life and purpose to pursue outside of the porn industry. As she tells her story she is in total ecstasy about the fact that there is more to life for her than catching gonorrhoea, getting semen all over her face and sleeping with guys the whole time – as bizarre as this might sound, this is what these women are reduced to and what becomes their ‘default’ or ‘normal’, and this is what totally shook me.Thankfully she is now free from the industry and committing of her time reaching out to other porn actors finding themselves in similar situations she was in.

Crissy Moran, another former actor who left the industry successfully, has come to the place where she committed herself to abstain from sex altogether until she should get married. She is however facing ‘the reality of gravity’. Even though she has made a new start she is in effect still a porn star, seeing that past boyfriends and business partners continue to run websites with pornographic images of her for their own gain while she continues the struggle to get them legally shut down – she reportedly chose not to take any more money made from these images herself. Another reality, or reasonable paranoia if you will, women like Crissy live with is that constant wondering whether people in public settings might recognise her and what they might be thinking when they see her.

Crissy is now involved with an organisation which aims to rescue actors from the industry while she also featured in the documentary film Exxxit: Life After Porn which is an exploration into the personal lives of those involved in the industry. It looks more specifically at the struggles associated with re-entering normal life with some of the questions asked: “When you do get out of porn does it last forever, can you have a normal life after it, can you raise children, do the scars really run forever?”. Drug addiction as coping mechanism, possible non-curable STDs, or a return back to the industry is also a reality many face as they still have to make ends meet while dealing with the recovery process and being foreign to ‘normal life’.

Thankfully, there is a growing number of men and women who reach out to actors trapped in the industry while exposing the reality of life on the inside to outsiders. They typically attend porn conventions and industry functions where they openly connect with actors, building relationships and distributing their details and necessary information on how to exit should they wish to take such a step. Support networks like these are vital in supporting actors through the often difficult healing process and re-establishing of their independence and confidence in the outside world.

Patrice Roldan (formerly known as porn star Nadia Styles) is involved with The Pink Cross Foundation while Crissy Moran serves this cause through Treasures.

I encourage you to follow the web links to the organisations these two ladies are involved with, educate yourself on the realities of the industry, see the various ways they engage with those trapped in the industry; equip yourself to become part of this very necessary cultural revolution.

// So, what do you think: is there life after porn? For performers AND consumers? And a bigger question even: is a post-porn culture a reasonable dream?

 We’ll be looking in a few upcoming posts at what life after porn addiction is like, and what a post-porn culture will look like. I’d love to hear your thoughts as the conversation progresses…join in!

Advertisements

One response to “Life After Porn

  1. I would like to add that Crissy (mentioned in the above post) did in fact get engaged during this past week and is looking forward to entering into marriage early next year I understand. She speaks on her facebook page of how she remained faithful to her commitment of abstinance since she left the industry and will do so up to her wedding day.. She will continue to volunteer with Treasures.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s