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Series: bride blog
Series: pregnancy & parenting

Presence

February 13, 2012 · by gemmaruthbrown · in Uncategorized. ·

And for you who now move on,

pensively,

Here becomes there without

ceasing to be.

Yves Bonnefoy: “Passer-by, These Are Words” (2001)

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“Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own.” 👊 Monday night is looking good: Stress Away roller (you HAVE to try it...), @evolvebeautyuk 360 Serum and #BravingTheWilderness by @brenebrown. I think it’s fair to say it’s revolutionary. How she writes about tribalism, identity, anger, dehumanisation, courage, belonging...so challenging at both a societal and personal level. By the way, I’m putting together my 2019 reading list. What is the ONE book that you’d recommend I include in it?

Not anyone who says, “I’m going to be careful and smart in matters of love,” who says, “I’m going to choose slowly,” but only those lovers who didn’t choose at all but were, as it were, chosen by something invisible and powerful and uncontrollable and beautiful and possibly even unsuitable — only those know what I’m talking about in this talking about love. #MaryOliver 🖤

I had my first full day in work today. Not gonna lie, it felt really weird hopping on the train in a sea of black-clad people who were very busy looking very serious... and listening to music IN HEADPHONES?! Reading the news UNINTERRUPTED?! Getting on the train WITHOUT BUGGIES?! I wore black, too...but I realised when I got into the office it was dotted with porridge from Baby B’s breakfast. Ah well, I was still part of the black-wearing, fast-walking workforce today, after 13 months off. And it felt weird and good and hopeful and of course it felt a little bit sad, too. No matter how pretty the dress, I’d rather have it pawed by those cute little porridgey hands than do anything else in the world. That said, I remembered today that I could do other things...other things that I really quite liked. I enjoyed stimulating conversation. I dreamed about the future. And I realised how good sitting down feels! Aware of how full my cup is. A job that I truly love working alongside people I respect, a baby whose porridge-covered hands will wave me hello as well as goodbye and a husband has organised a ‘Christmas in January’ party tonight so I would have something to look forward to at the end of the day. Now to get home...if I could fly, baby, I would!

Just a boy and his nana, kicking it in the #CathedralQuarter on a casual Monday morning. ❤️

Ok, I admit it: I used to have absolutely NO regard for the environment. In fact, when I met people wearing vaguely environment-related branding on the street, I wished I could say “I’ll look after the whales once all the humans have been looked after!” 😱 Thankfully I never said that out loud 😂 The reason I share this is because I think a lot of us are in the same boat - sure, maybe we donate or follow a few ‘eco-friendly’ accounts on insta, but really, it doesn’t affect us. Enter Anastasia. I met her a few years ago in #Rwanda. She looked to the sky and said “the weather is changing”: this was affecting her WHOLE LIFE. Her future, her kids, their health, their education, their safety. Anastasia became the face of climate change, for me - and the reason I resolved to do what I could to look after the planet. Whether it’s because of Anastasia or #DavidAttenborough or just because you’re curious, why not use this year as a time for change? As we step into 2019, I’ve shared my 5 most simple swaps over on my blog (direct link to the article is in my bio, or gemmaruthbrown.com), with shout-outs to @doyourbit.ni, @thehomelyhaven & @younglivingeo. I’m curious to know...what are YOUR favourite hacks for protecting the planet?

We have a few more eye bags and a lot less time for selfies (so as you can see when we get some, we make it count 😜) but doing this gig together has been one of my favourite things about my first year of motherhood! We are three years apart, our babes are 3 months apart and they’ve brought us closer than ever. ❤️

How would you describe your year in 3 words? I got so many fascinating responses when I asked this on Stories last night. ‘Heartbreaking’ to ‘healing’, and everything in between. What struck me was that rarely did all three words match...and I guess that’s normal, because life is up and down and good and bad and lots of in-between. As you look back over 2018, allow yourself to acknowledge its opposites and nuances. And also? Whether you’ve made it to the end with your hopeful head held high or with your feet dragging behind you, remember this: you’ve made it. I hope that as you look back, you savour the treasure you’ve found and let go of the burdens you’ve carried. You’ve made it. Rest a while.

Hey mama, if you make any resolutions over the next few days, can I suggest this one? B E S E E N. I have had a tricky relationship with how I look - both on and off camera - for a long time. Becoming pregnant, and then a mum, hasn’t changed that. I’m not alone: 90% of mums I polled on Instagram struggle with how they look and of those, 50% avoid the camera because of that. There are several reasons for this...our identities change drastically, we are told throughout our lives that women should not take up space, our bodies are marked and at times neglected. But a family friend’s story made me resolve, earlier this year, to stop being invisible. I have realised that a mother’s body is her child’s home, and we should never be ashamed of that home being seen. We should decorate it and celebrate it and say: look! It’s mine. My body has permanently changed, and I’m glad of it. It means I have the tremendous privilege of being a mother to the most precious gift I have ever been given. It means I have sustained his little life for 9 months in the womb and 12 out: through fragility and uncertainty and sleepless nights and cluster feeding and soothing sobs and endless lullabies. My body is my baby’s home. It will be seen. 🖤 Full blog post via link in my profile.

“Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.” I’ve just realised how true this is! The week between Christmas and New Year brings a natural lull with it, a chance to breathe a little between the festivities and before a new leaf is turned. I’ve taken the opportunity to ‘cut corners’ a little. Let someone else take Baby B for a nap walk, take a day off kitchen duty and stock up on Ella’s pouches. Ease the cleaning for a day or two, have a day bath. Pop a hat over unstyled hair, leave some things on the to-do list. It’s been bliss. I’m an achiever and a perfectionist and I’m learning that I don’t need to do all the things all the time. In fact, whether it not I do says absolutely nothing about me. Ooof. That’s a big one. I’m hoping to take it into 2019 with me. I - we - need margin. We don’t need to push ourselves all the time, to squeeze out every last drop. What would it look like for you to let some of your ‘can do’s be ‘can do’s instead of ‘should do’s?

Twitter

@ZARA_Care hello! How can I use a gift card online? I have a 16 digit number and a 3 digit number but no ‘unlock code’? Thanks... 3 weeks ago
RT @NotScottEvans: Underwear is expression, not invitation. If your understanding of consent is based on the colour and shape of undergarme… 2 months ago
community.today.com/post/i-wish-so… 2 months ago
Looking for a printer to laser-print a graphic on black 250+gsm card - can anyone help? All my regulars say no can do! 3 months ago
RT @jarrodmckenna: “Abuse thrives when we favour reputation, power and privilege.” -Ruth Garvey Williams @vox_ie @wearerubicon 3 months ago

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5 WAYS TO LOOK AFTER THE PLANET TODAY
The invisible mother
Cutting corners at Christmas
The stories we tell
An afternoon at Loaf Pottery

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