I have, in writing about issues regarding prostitution and the purchase of sex, expressed concern solely about the prostitutes, or victims of abuse. In conversation with a friend today, we sought out a theme that might both cause someone to buy sex in terms of their treatment of the person they buy from but also in terms of how they view themselves: the devaluing of human worth, the loss of a sense of human value. This was brought home by reading tonight the thoughts of DublinCallGirl as she is known on the blogosphere, who in “A thankyou letter to punters” (very difficult, courageously honest and eye-opening material) writes and has graciously allowed me to post here:
I don’t understand how your self esteem can be so low that you would pay someone to sleep with you. Please have sex with me! I’m just an old lonely man! Bullsh*t. You are a pathetic old man, with cash, and you view vaginas as something to enter into negotiations with. How low must you view yourself? Whatever happened to you to turn you into a punter? It can’t just be this women as sex object culture we live in, there has to be something else, maybe something to do with rejection? Maybe something to do with getting older? Maybe something to do with inadequacy? You’d be a lot happier if you sorted your issues out instead of renting my vagina for an hour. But that’s the tough road to go down isn’t it, much easier to pretend that everything you’re doing is legit and that I secretly love f***ing older bald unfriendly chubby men.
That’s it. The men who buy sex from women whose value they rob them of must also have lost the sense of their own worth. The purchase of sex is not the only sphere to which this applies – any action that degrades the value of another speaks into just how the perpetrator sees their own worth.
But oh, how valuable they are. Immeasurably. Completely. Preciously. And yet…